1. |
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I don’t know how to talk to anyone anymore
But I’ve got so much that I need to say
I’m so tired of being your secret lover
You lied to me when you said true love has to hurt
I’d build you a house, but you don’t want us to be seen
I’d build you a ship, but I’m afraid to leave
My aching hands are weaker than the frost
That covers the ground today
You've been spoiled by unconditional love
In your life before this life you must've done some good
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2. |
Dancing With No One
02:12
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She told me about your wild green eyes
And the way that you dance with no one
She told me of living her little life
Like a camera on auto-exposure
She said she felt fine in the bitterest dark
When your light was on some motion sensor
But someone is still with you now and your light's on
Bright and that’s making her tender
I try to find some wisdom in me
Because I’m not the boy of her dreams
“Losing a woman like you can make a man
And that’s just what some boys need”
The staler the bread the sweeter the wine
Not only in holy communion
The wilder the fire the softer the ash
The crueller her memory’s illusion
You thought maybe you weren't enough
But you could save me with half of that love
I've got no right though, to say how you spend it
I've got no pride so no need to defend it
I simply love you my sweetest friend
Too close to desire you so far from the end
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3. |
Love Song #4
02:34
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Too precious to wake you
I hope that you’re dreaming
That time’s moving slowly
That your mind has freed you
From your perfect body
As still as an ocean
Caught by a painting
Great waves never breaking
There on your skin
Above the pale blue
Raising and falling
Like me over you
There’s an archway
Sometimes I sleep
With my head on your shoulder
I wake after you
And you’ve grown much older
I reach to your lips
You kiss my hands
The hands that once lifted
The ground that I gifted
To you for your flowers
And the soles of your feet
Now I lay beneath you
And breathe what you speak
I’m your man
I’m your man
I’m your man
I’m a man
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4. |
Two Voices
02:39
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Burning incense in the kitchen
Drinking coffee on the roof
Picking grapes in the basement
Drawing windows in your room
The plasterboard’s just paper
And time is seeping into it
The curtains hang like poets
The kind that crumble when you speak of it
The floorboards have all been burned
Say for those beneath the stove
Carelessness will run so far
But never leaves the road
There have only ever been two voices
One like picking cherries in the dark
Shivering in the shower
Or boiling kettles for the bath
As shallow as it is
The water makes you laugh
When you’re singing to your daughter
From the only book you own
Written out in Mexico
In a language you don’t know
Still the ending makes you cry
For the pages are more worn
You turn the names back into ghosts
When you sing them into stone
There have only ever been two voices
One like picking cherries in the dark
Stars fall through the roof
And shatter on the floor
Diluting shards of glass
The night they broke the door
Thin and white and hungry
With just the taste of vapour wax
You whisper to the night
And the staircase whispers back
“There’s someone on my shoulders
His boots are hard but kind
He thinks that he’s a monster
But I think you’ll change his mind”
There have only ever been to voices
One like picking cherries in the dark
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5. |
Only a Muse
03:38
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“A woman is only a muse”
You say that’s what the gods told you
So you fill up the bathroom with steam
As you set all your poetry free
And the water, as proof it’s unclean
Turns ink black and burns your white skin
You’d rather be loved than be free
That’s what the gods told me
A bedroom is no place to cry
Together we lay, and we lie
We drink up our coffee or wine
It’s ink or it’s blood and that’s fine
It’s ink or it’s blood and that’s fine
When you love me you say you feel weak
But somehow you're scared you'll hurt me
You believe you're in love with the dark
When you're searching for some kind of spark
And you think you're in love when it's cold
I'd tell you it's fake but I'm sold
Winter will never grow old
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6. |
The Binding of Isaac
01:29
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There's a world outside this musicbox my darling,
So stretch your legs my love and take a bow.
As careful with an heirloom as they ought to be,
They're gonna sell your fears and flog your doubts.
By the station in the city there's an orchard,
Where they've given up on watering the trees;
Their industry is drinking all the water
But envy washes green across the leaves.
So when the fruit is sweet and falls from some old fountain pen
You should find yourself a train to board.
You're the only ballerina with her heart upon an altar,
So walk with your new knowledge to the mountain of the lord.
I won't tell a soul,
I won't tell a soul,
I won't tell a soul the things you know.
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7. |
Love Song #3
01:37
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Your voice formed a hairline fracture
Under the weight of a cigarette
And that let in a little darkness
A darkness I can't forget
It's the water you carry around
For the flowers I'll lay on your grave
You keep a little silence
Inside each note you play
And just the same, within each kiss
You hide a touch of disdain
You wish that I could love you
Without knowing of your pain
And no matter how many times I promise
Your flaws to me are flaws
You're afraid that you're my fetish
That all your scars just turn me on
And that one day you'll be better
And that which I loved will be gone
Well I hate the way you hate yourself
And I hate the way you cry
I wish that I could love you
Without knowing of this pain
Trauma has no bearing
On the woman you've become
You are not shaped by malice
You are not you because of them
I know you got afraid
Too afraid to go outside
And I know you changed your name
And I know you changed your eyes
But no one really talks to you
Through the glass you stand behind
You built your crystal palace
And you brought us all inside
But everything is fractured
Your lips, your heart, your eyes
Is it unfair to stay
Just to see if you're alright?
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8. |
Sentimental
01:49
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I’m tired of being sentimental;
I just want to see tomorrow.
I’m tired of all of these black and white pictures;
Got a monochrome lover with a head full of colour.
I put her in a song and I
Always sing it wrong, I lie,
She didn’t run away, although
She left me when she had to go
She stayed around for days on end –
She broke my heart and we made a mend.
But if she heard the way I sang
She wouldn’t be so kind again.
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9. |
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She's got a whole lot of love and a warm embrace
If you ever need to change a man
She’s got forever in some secret place
If you ever need to hide someone
And if there’s not enough books to read
She knows a place where they’re burning some
She filled me up with music
And she burned all my desire
Now I’m warm and feeling hungry
Cooking leftovers by the fire
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10. |
(interlude)
00:37
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Instrumental
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11. |
Love Song #5
03:31
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I’ve got this sinking feeling
You’re not ready yet
I seem to love much more than you
But I seem to cry much less
And yes your open wounds
Are easy to forget
The grazes on your knees
The childish hands that bleed
It seems too long ago to know
It was our love that made you grow
Into the person that you are
Into the ivy on the arch
Under the viaduct of him
You’re holding up the sleepers
I’m just holding up the train
The water seems much deeper than my pain
The echoes seem much louder than my name
Our mornings seem much longer than my days
The trouble is with us
We’re really just the same
And you tell me that you love me
But you say you have to change
Should I change?
Should I change for you?
I cry when I'm at work
And I sing when I get home
You're stuck inside my head
So I climb up there alone
With this tiny cup of coffee
And a letter I can't send
It's to you when you're thirty-five
I hope I know you then
The trouble is with us
We’re really just the same
And you tell me that you love me
But you say you have to change
Should I change?
Should I change for you?
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12. |
Hope and Un-hope
04:51
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Collecting thoughts and hot water in the shower, with my mouth;
Romantic notions I’ve tried to spit out.
But they make my lips soft and they sooth my sore throat,
They make my mouth clean the way my dreams don’t.
I like driving slowly when you’re in the car,
I’d love to run away with you, but we wouldn’t get far.
I like kissing slowly, but we never have the time
To make love how we want to, so you end up crying.
It’s always hope and un-hope, wind and un-wind.
There’s no use reminding ourselves to be kind,
We both kiss too quickly, but never get hurt,
So I tell you stories about other girls.
January’s heavier than the rest of the year;
I heard it takes two to make doves disappear,
One to watch too closely, and the other to lie,
But January’s heavy and I can’t life July.
I am a man now, but I want you to know
I’m scared of the actors when I’m not in the show;
I’m scared of your strength, but more scared of your weakness,
I’m scared of solitude, but more scared of people.
I’m scared of solitude, but more scared of people.
I’m scared of solitude, but more scared of people.
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13. |
Seascapes (12.07.18)
01:05
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Michael's painting seascapes for a living
Because everybody seems to like his blues.
Busy drinking red wine from the bottle,
I’d hide my pride for days in the morning dew.
I hope one day you’ll see his charcoal drawings,
Before his swirling prophecies comes true.
A mixtape with the pixies playing nothing you can’t play.
The sky turns white like the white in your eyes,
So widen your eyes and I’ll widen my eyes,
We need somewhere to muse.
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Benjamin Isaac England, UK
I make films and write songs in a little village by the sea.
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